My Letter to Ayden

Sorry for the grammer, and spelling, wanted it to be raw. Enjoy


Ayden

It’s been my prayer since you were born that early in your life that God would penetrate your heart and you will sooner than later ask Jesus to be your savior, pursuing him no matter the Cost. Matthew 7 talks about the narrow and wide path one leads to life and one leads destruction; there is sacrifice in that verse, because the world around you will tell you to take the easy road, the path of least resistance, which ultimately ends to sin and destruction. I struggled for a long time with which path to follow, I have seen many high school guys struggle with this loving the Idea of pursuing Christ but the cost of committing was too much for them. It’s my prayer that doesn’t happen to you.
Tonight AJ we are going to talk about matters of the heart, what Characters that I pray you will develop so that when you begin to date and pursue marriage, you choose the path of life and not one of destruction. In my job AJ I see many relationships, fail and lives sent into diseare because of things that happen in those relationships, and I know usually it is not intentional that pain enters in, but like in most things they lack the understanding of how God intended for dating relationships. It really boils down to where or what you Aj will go to for your source of knowledge. Are you relying on experience, friends, TV shows, culture, the locker room, bus ride home from games, or are you turning to God’s word for your first source of knowledge on matters of the heart? 1 Corinthians 1:25 talks about “the foolishness of God is wiser that men, you see its not a bad thing to seek knowledge but with that as 1 Thessolians 5:21-22 says test everything and abstain from evil. So that in matters of the heart we are first seeking the knowledge of God to know what is true.
So some things I have found that will help you when you first start navigating through relationships, and how you can honor the Girl you are entering into relationship with:
You can honor her by not looking for the next best thing Job 31:1 talks about Job making a covenant that he will not look upon another with lustful eyes, besides lust being sinful, this can be one of the most damaging things in a relationship is when your girl feels like you are always looking for the next best thing. Or commenting to her or others around you when you are in a relationship how good someone who is not your girl looks. I know Guys do this being a coach you are around enough of them that this is what they talk about. As hard as it may be Aj you need to stay away from this, it can lead to much damage in relationship, and lead you into sin.
Does she feel safe with you, this goes along with num.1 but when you are not together does she trust you won’t pursue someone else, When you are alone, and physical boundaries are being crossed that you set or she set do you honor those are do you try pressing further, putting her an uncomfortable situation to have to say no. 1 Peter 3:7 talks about a mans responsibility to honor women as a weaker vessel, by no means does this mean as lesser value, it means protection her from these things we just talked about and protecting them from guys who don’t respect those boundaries.
Do you honor her verbally, and emotionally, this can go both ways first ting you have to understand is the damage you can inflict to girls when you verbally are not honoring to them with the things you her. Things like you don’t look good, or you are lucky you are with me, you couldn’t get anyone else. Your packing a few more pounds on lately, that doesn’t look good on you. You may think that is kind of funny but you would be surprised what guys will say to try and gain the upper hand in a relationship, and usually that stuff is said out of fear of losing them. The other way to honor them emotionally is by being honest and up front with them, as a man be man of your word. To many guys and I was one of them for a time feel like it is cool to intentionally mislead a girl to get what they want the smooth talkers, You now those guys, anything to get the girl, AJ stay away from that stuff, I first hand have seen the tweets, and facebook statues of girls hurt deeply by those words, convincing them to do things they did not want to do. How selfish and not honoring is that. The problem is there friends are the first ones to congratulate and glorify them for getting with the girl cause they were that smooth. We might have it out a bit if I find out that is you.
Are you not blinded by lust, this possibly can the most damaging thing in a relationship on so many levels. It violates the trust of the girls, that you are pursuing, if you continually are looking at and pursuing other girls on the side. Plus it is selfish and sinful. When you’re blinded by lust in a relationship, there is no emotional attachment and you are only driven by how you can satisfy yourself. When blinded by lust you have no respect for physical boundaries, and will say anything to get what you want, or seek after who ever will give you what you want that is not honoring!!. Aj the problem with this is culture, media, and the locker room will tell you that you need experience, that what ever feels good cant be bad, and I know it’s a battle to not give in to that talk and influence, but know one said pursuing Christ would be easy. Proverbs 14:12 says this “ there is a way that seems right to a man, but it’s end is the way to death” pretty clear warning that those guys in the locker room, on TV or movies, may seam like it’s cool, but it most certainly will lead to pain in matters of lust and the heart.
AJ this letter is going to be one of many conversations we will have, and that excites me and I ma praying for those conversations even though some I am sure will be tough, and we may have it out at times, but think of them as training. I leave you with two things one 1 Timothy 4:7b-8 “Rather Train yourself for Godliness, For while bodily training is of some value Godliness is of value in every way, as it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come” and last I love you
Dad